Now we go to letter G. G stands for give. We’ve got to give criticism carefully. Criticism — again, I know it seems crazy — criticism in the right way, confrontation in the right way, builds a person’s self-esteem. I’ve got to give correction carefully. I’ll never forget, five years ago I was sitting on the beach in Padre Island. I had taken a church camp down there, and and there were about 700 young people. I was talking to a senior in high school, and this guy began to cry. I said, “Bill, what’s wrong, man?” He said, “Ed, my parents don’t love me.” I said, “I know your parents! Yeah, they do!” He said, “No, they don’t.” I said, “Name one reason why your parents don’t love you.” He said, “Because they let me get away with murder.”
What was he saying? He was saying that discipline is one of the acid tests of value. You see, our kids are screaming out for discipline, careful correction. They want, parents, for us to confront their character faults. They keep testing and they keep inching their way across the line, and if you don’t say anything, it’s devastating. They’re out in the deep weeds with regard to their self-esteem. How often do you confront their character faults? When you speak the truth in love to them, when you tell them they are out of line, it builds a self-esteem. Children will think in their minds, as you’re disciplining them they’ll think, “Whoa. I really must have value for mom and dad to take this much time, energy, and effort to keep me out of the weeds. Wow. They don’t want me to shipwreck my life. Yeah.” Will your kids tell you that? No. I’ve never heard mine say, “Mom, thanks for grounding me. My self-esteem really needed a boost.” E. J. doesn’t say, “Ed, thanks for tapping my hand, because I was really sagging in regard to my self-esteem.” It doesn’t happen that way. But, the Bible says, your children will come back and call you blessed, and thank you and affirm you for doing that. Now, I’m not talking about becoming a Bobby Knight disciplinary freak, but I am talking about setting parameters. When they cross the line, there are consequences.
Ed Young Jr. – Could someone say that about me? Could the people that work with me say that? Could they say that about you? Or would they say, “We were really able to find some major, moral problems and ethical foul-ups in this person’s life.”
